By Saleem Mubarak
You will notice something strange if you dare to actually listen to a real estate agent. They talk in circles. They zigzag. They prefer to dance around the point like it’s a musical chair contest.
And yet somehow, against all logic, they still close deals– come what may. In fact, real estate agents talking in circles has become an art form of its own in New York’s real estate world.
It’s a mystery no one has figured out yet. People nod, smile and at the end of it all, sign papers worth more money than they intended to spend.
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How do they do it?
Well, don’t go anywhere, because we’re about to begin with the first rule of the trade: never give a straight answer when a roundabout one works just as well.
If you take the classic question: “Is this house within budget?” An agent might say, “Well, it depends on how you’re planning to manage your financing in the coming months while balancing your lifestyle goals.” Translation: “Yes… maybe… who cares?”
The Art of Circular Conversations in Real Estate
New York real estate agents have efficiently mastered the art of talking in circles, not just to make money, but to “serve” their clients. They know how to start at Point A, wander immediately to Point M and take a quick trip to Point Z— only to efficiently end up back at A, smiling brightly with a contract in hand.
If you can recall, it’s like watching a lovely youngling who chases its tail–except this figure is wearing a suit and getting a commission.
Why Clients Trust Endless Explanations
People are under the impression that if someone can talk for thirty minutes without answering a question directly, they must know what they’re doing. You might think this marathon talking is strange, but this is the magic of “How Agents Talk in Circles and Still Close Deals.”
It’s a sophisticated skill, a God-gifted talent and a form of hypnotism– all disguised as conversation.
Open Houses: The Stage for Verbal Acrobatics
Now you need to consider open houses. An ‘intelligent agent’ stands in a kitchen and points at cupboards, floors, and mysterious light switches. He says, “While reflecting the subtle undertones of your future lifestyle, notice how the natural lighting complements the cabinet grain.” You look at your spouse. They look at you. You nod. You’re sold. Or at least mildly enchanted.
After this process, there is an ‘exclusive’ follow-up call for you.
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“Did you have any questions?” the caller asks. You do. Then the caller answers with a fascinating story about a similar house, a neighbor with two golden retrievers and a recent national policy on housing inflation.
By the time the caller finishes, you’ve forgotten your original questions that you were about to ask. Due to the flowery words the caller uses, you feel grateful for their expertise.
When Numbers Sound Like Magic
It is very much clear that agents can also talk in numbers, charts and technical-sounding phrases. If an agent says, “The leverage ratio and market velocity indicate a favorable trajectory for asset accumulation,” instead of asking him to clarify the meaning, you prefer to nod again.
You might not know the meanings of sentences the agents utter, but it feels serious. And seriousness equals trust, which equals a signature–leading to a ‘solid’ deal.
The Secret Skill of Persuasion
Agents are geniuses who know the world already moves in circles, which is why they also speak in circles. They do not annoy the round globe of Earth simply for their own “vested interests.”
Somewhere along the line, social commentary also sneaks in. You realize that our economy is so complicated–do not blame politicians and bureaucracy– we need people who speak in riddles just to navigate it.
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Do not waste your time and immediately start smiling the next time you meet an agent who turns a simple question into a fifteen-minute monologue about home equity and life goals. Appreciate the craft of that agent. Be amazed. And remember, it always works.
Yes, this is strange and wonderful, but it’s true: the agents zig, zag, loop and charm their way to selling any property. And at the end of the day, the deal is done, the ink is dry, and you are surprised that you signed a deal without even understanding their words.
But don’t worry: if you succeed in developing sound relations with an agent of New York, he or she could sell your property to someone else by talking in circles and using flowery words. You don’t need to worry at all. That’s the beauty of it.
At the end, you’d preferably say: in real estate, the road to a signature is paved with words you’ll never repeat—and that’s perfectly fine.
Author Profile
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The writer is a real estate journalist specializing in all types of New York City properties, including luxury residences, commercial spaces, and homes.
He also writes humorous articles about real estate, investors, and realtors.
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