ChatGPT’s Housing Crisis Solution We Can’t Afford

By Saleem Mubarak

The New Yorkers are perturbed by the exorbitant property prices and the hollow slogans of the politicians, but it seems ChatGPT has finally emerged as their messiah, claiming to have “solved the housing crisis.”

You might say, “Don’t tell me!” But that’s right.

‘Frustrated’ politicians, economists and Wall Street analysts have been “scratching their heads” for decades trying to figure out the housing crisis. They had all been bowling yorkers at the New Yorkers on this issue.

But now the solution has come from a polite little AI sitting in my laptop–thanks to ChatGPT.

After taking a sip of coffee, ChatGPT explained that the solution is elegantly simple. Sensing the housing crisis—with plenty of opportunities for capitalists—we need to build houses that are smaller, smarter, and more efficient.

Unfurling its plan, it suggested solar panels on the roof, AI-powered thermostats, vertical gardens with ready-to-harvest and downloadable fruits and vegetables, and robots to fold the laundry.

In other words, a futuristic dream home where, to some extent, your friendly fridge reminds you about the broccoli you “accidentally” forgot, and your oven complains if your lasagna is overcooked.

The moment I heard this “brilliant idea”, I got excited and rushed over to my neighbour to share it. I knocked on her door and practically yelled like an excited child, eager to explain the plan.

When she finally listened to the “practical solution” to the housing crisis, she smiled and said, “That sounds wonderful. But my bank account politely disagrees.”

Indeed, the AI’s dream home–though still confined to my laptop– costs roughly the same as a small moon.

Apparently, we can have the perfect house, but only if we’re willing to trade our car, our savings and perhaps a kidney or two to make this dream a reality.

I believe politicians, naturally, are excited. They love any solution– without raising any objections– that they don’t have to pay for.

“See?” They say, “AI has fixed the housing crisis and now the nation can move forward and explore ventures in space. Now let’s do absolutely nothing about the housing crisis.”

And just like that, believe it or not, ChatGPT becomes the most polite scapegoat in history.

These houses could be made even more futuristic, and if they really were, we might need a spaceship just to get to work—but at least the commute would look stylish and elegant.

Step outside, and you’ll quickly notice that most people live in apartments with peeling paint, neighbors who don’t exactly value peace and quiet—making noise like they’re at a rally—and floors so strange that your socks stick to them.

Even the mice stay away to avoid getting stuck!

We look at AI’s futuristic house blueprints and wonder why our “solution” involves boiling water with a kettle and folding laundry by hand like people did centuries ago.

As one of my friends joked, “At least if AI ever builds our houses, I won’t have to explain why my cat treats the couch like it’s a national monument.”

There is, of course, a hope for all of us. ChatGPT has given us a plan—a clear vision, if not a budget. And I think that’s enough for us.

Humans have been surviving in tiny, overpriced spaces for centuries.

A little AI optimism is just what we need these days to keep laughing, even if we can’t afford the solution.

We may not have traditional or AI-powered homes, but we do have AI-powered memes, which is basically the same thing in 2025. We should cherish these memes with our political leaders.

So here’s my advice for all of you: let the robots design the dream homes. Politicians and some Wall Street analysts will design the dream excuses for why we still live in one-bedroom apartments with leaky faucets.

And if anyone asks why your kitchen has no dishwasher, tell them proudly, “The AI said the key to happiness is folding your own laundry—plus, it’s good cardio.”

At least one of us will be happy—and for now, that has to count as progress.

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Saleem Mubarak: The writer is a real estate journalist specializing in all types of New York City properties, including luxury residences, commercial spaces, and homes.

He also writes humorous articles about real estate, investors, and realtors.